pee jokes one liners

Did you hear about the constipated composer? Q. My lion impression went down well a roaring success. Q. You mix up two letters and your whole post is urined. 2. 3. The old man takes out his false teeth and bites his other eye. He was a whiz kid. the crustacean accused of promoting his own shellfish interests? Now, we aim to connect you to the kid inside you by compiling these lists of the nastiest and smelliest dirty poop jokes. A. Peanut. email addresses were disqulified from the list and couldn't be sent. I got you now! But the mans lawyer goes pale in the face, sinks his head in his hands and says,He bet me 100,000 on the way over here that he could piss all over your desk and youd just love it!. Captain Hooky. A real rip-off. ), 50 Funny Marketing Jokes That Will Increase Business Sales. In the baaa-throom. 68. Doing their doodie. A. Viagra Falls. They both deal with a lot of crap. 6. 71. Turns out he was full of shit. 59. Read More 45 Hilarious Pee Pee Puns Punstoppable. Does this taste funny to you?. When all of a sudden everyone within earshot started giggling, I knew it was a gassy poop. Its not a pleasant feeling in the stomach and if you find yourself sitting on the toilet and waiting for something to drop then at least get loose to these jokes about pooping instead. 10 facts about Diarrhea. The picked up the phone and said. Poodini. Why did the basketball player go to the bathroom? The Times are rough. A. Pee-Rex. I went to buy some camo pants but couldnt find any. Poop Puns One Liners. Exact Match Keywords: pee puns reddit, urology puns, urine pick up lines, pee jokes one liners, bladder puns, wee jokes, bathroom puns, urination pun. Urine trouble. Darn tootin'! Why did the baby put quarters in its diaper? Little brother: I need to pee! If you have to force it, its probably crap. Because not all banks accept deposits. She was a party pooper. My mother was so surprised when I told her I was born again. So we have listed clean, funny and easy-to-get jokes about poop that your 4 year olds can relate to. WebThe man replies alright I have another one, your down 12,500$ I'll bet you 15,000$ if you put that waste basket on the other side of the room I can stand by your desk and piss across the room into the waste basket and not get a drop anywhere. We just happened to be almost to an exit with several gas stations to take her. Its funny just saying it. A. If athletes get athletes foot, what do astronauts get? Comment * document.getElementById("comment").setAttribute( "id", "a44c17e5426fca8114c44941b9ba386d" );document.getElementById("h2249d7876").setAttribute( "id", "comment" ); Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. Why couldnt the police officers find the toilet thief? Little Johny says he wants to pee alcohol. Gentlemen- whats a shortcut to not piss on the seat? 1. A bis-cat. The cop asks the woman, "Where did an old lady like you get all of that money? 20. A man goes into a library and asks for a book about Pavlovs dogs and Schrodingers cat. A. I pee, eh. We still have more! Why were there balloons in the bathroom? An arm and a leg. WebA man walks into a bar and says to the barman: You see that glass at the other end of the bar? Just a phew! They both deal with a lot of crap. What do you call a pirate that skips class? I was curious if this counts as "Dad Joke behavior" and if anyone else does this or has a dad that does it. 1. To get to the other side. At which school did Sherlock Holmes get so smart? When a guy sees another guy at a urinal and makes sure to pee 2 spots away? Because their wives just wouldn't stand for it. Did you know that diarrhea is hereditary? A whizzard. I had to text my wife about that one. The man says I'll let you get your money back or even more, I bet you 7,500$ I can bite my right eye. 34. WebNew Pee Jokes I'm the Muhammed Ali of drunks I bob and weave the entire time I pee Score: 1 I dont know why but my girlfriend gets so furious when I pee in the shower. 1.Why do people fall asleep in the bathroom? Do these genes make me look fat?. Because it's also called a restroom! WebHeard the person who invented the urinals was very young. 2023, 29 Funny Money Quotes to Share with Friends (good laugh, good time! At the BP petrol station! It gets toad away. Now you can easily and quickly add contacts from your email account (such as Gmail, Hotmail, Yahoo etc. You're in for a workout. Who wants to know? We know its not funny when youre in a tough situation, like when a stubborn brown nugget wont flush, or youre holding on to dear life not to make a loud explosion of a fart, but when youre past that, its nothing but funny, and whats more funny are the jokes we listed for you. A polar bear. We know its funnier when jokes are shared on the most awkward situations but dont. I hate spelling errors. I dont really like how you can feel it move though. We recommend our users to update the browser. 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I come again and pee twice. Why does the urologist just dread his job some days? It's marketed under the name, Red Bull. Ha! says the barman. If lights run on electricity and cars run on gas, what do cats run on? 11 r/dadjokes 6 comments u/Beergelden What happens if you fall into the toilet? He thought it would make him faster, but it just made him sluggish. Nothing, if you're a dickhead. A guy with explosive diarrhea was eager to tell a joke. 26. 10. We were driving across state over the holidays and my 4 year old tells us she has to pee. why is my pee pee 2 inches in length but 5 in girth? Nah, they always stink. Read more:FunnyBEST Friend JokesThat Will Knock Them Over! To make it to the bottom! Why did the soldier refuse to flush the toilet? Its part of an anti-litter campaign. Q. 91. She had mittens. Control freak. Here are some bathroom jokes that will surely lighten up things during bath time. ", She rolled her eyes and told me that one was a real stretch. A hardened criminal. Poop jokes arent my favorite jokes. What do you call Santas helpers? Its to take your dump and it doesnt discriminate, young and old, whatever gender you are, and just like our favorite seat, these toilet puns are for everyone to sit on and enjoy. What does a urologist shout out when he makes a medical breakthrough? Fart jokes and toilet humor are things that are loved by kids. To pee what was on the other side. Why does Donald Trump only get his Viagra from American pharmaceutical sources? The man replies alright I have another one, your down 12,500$ I'll bet you 15,000$ if you put that waste basket on the other side of the room I can stand by your desk and piss across the room into the waste basket and not get a drop anywhere. 55. What does the receptionist at a sperm bank say to clients when they leave? Q. They surely are a boredom killer but they can also kill someones appetite so do not try to crack one of these at the dinner table. 47. This one is just childish. When he talks, it isnt a conversation. Pee, therefore queue. Poo-thirty. I went for dinner with the zoo animals the other day. In memory of my Dad, heres his favorite joke: Whats the difference between roast beef and pea soup? What did one piece of toilet paper say to another? A. A. ICP. Why did the med student decide to specialize in urology? He agents thinking I didn't see him come in with a guide dog or a stick so the agent says deal. What did one piece of toilet paper say to another? It became a problem because it kills the flowers. How many paranoid people does it take to change a light bulb? 3. Uncle: Urine a lot of trouble mister. Q. A. Read: Funny food jokes and puns that are totally hilarious! Why did the bakers hands stink? What does superman call his toilet? 2. To cover their butt quacks. Knock, knock. The agent says that's impossible you've got a deal. A. Thanks for stopping by and see you again soon! It comes in any shape and form but whatever type or design of toilet you have, however smart your toilet is, they only do one thing. When should you make vegetable soup in the toilet? If you arrest a mime, do you have to tell him he has the right to remain silent? The frat boys thought about it and one shouted out,"I wish Im a whisker away from completing my model of a cat. A. To return Click Here. Yeah, they got him on possession. What did the guy call it when he dropped his ED drugs? I am Julia, I love to laugh and I love to make people laugh. the cow that ate bluegrass and mooed indigo? Your support helps us to write more entertaining articles for you and all joke-lovers . One, but it takes two weeks and four trips to the hardware store. Keep it flush with the wall. Why did the rooster cross the road to go to the urinal? What is the difference between a hematologist and a urologist? 35. Im stuck on the toilet! It never came out! Kids are weird. WebWhat did one toilet say to the other toilet? 96. Why was Eeyore down the toilet? What did one cannibal say to the other while they were eating a clown? Whats a dogs favorite homework assignment? "Honey, I've got bad news. We hope you will find these urinary pee. Check out this list and pick our your favorites. A. Elementary. Nowadays, poop has already been normalized. We've been through a lot of shit together. Subordinate Clauses. Your email address will not be published. Why didn't the urology student finish his studies? Only one, but he has to do it while you are eating dinner. Because the P is silent! Why did the toilet roll down the hill? 5. Nothing better to a cat after a fight, than to hiss and make up. Did you know that diarrhea is hereditary? Q. 78. We have a simple and elegant solution for you! Yeah, they got him on possession. I love my toilet. Because its his doody! Because there was a surprise birthday potty! So, before i get to the joke, you should all know that everyone in my class knows me for my shitty dad jokes and they hate me for it and today was probably the proudest moment of my life. Because he was looking for Pooh! He's 4 years old and walked into the kitchen while I was at my aunt and uncle's house. Son: No, not yet. Everyone told her that they stink. Today I learned that diarrhea is hereditary. Did you hear about the film 'Constipated'? How does a logician explain why long lines form at the restroom after a movie? Scientists have recently discovered a food that greatly reduces sex drive. I proudly proclaimed Urine luck! What happened when the guy mixed up his depression medication with Viagra? A few minutes later Read More 45 Hilarious Pee Pee Puns Punstoppable. Why did the toilet roll down the hill? Missile toe. He gives on himself and his sister asks, "Wheres my cup?". 1. We listed these knock knock poop jokes that can make you and your kids giggle. Because it's also called a restroom! What do a clowns farts smell like? . A. Euro peein'. Why don't men install urinals in their bathrooms at home? 'Cause it's just like rain with a little thunder. 58. On that noteyou will love as well those butt bum jokes. "Hi my name is Charmin and you must be the shit 'cause I want you all over me." I ate four cans of alphabet soup yesterday. Yo mama so fat when she sat on the toilet it sang abcdefg get your fat butt off of me. A. Q. . It got stuck in the crack! Where does a winemaker get his gossip? One is a lot more impressed if you give him a foot. more like dad revelations. 36. What happens to an illegally parked frog? Because they make up literally everything. Something is in the air and we dont like it. Ecology teacher: does anyone know how to pronounce the name of this bird? Dad: Looks like urine trouble! It was three feet deep on average. When a janitor is fired for refusing to unclog the toilets, what is it called? Q. The other man says, Oh my God, I will go to a doctor immediately!. All these years he'd been letting potential income slip through his fingers. He was given a ticket for making a ewe turn. Why is it called a urine test? Wanna hear a poop joke? A. Urine Luck. Just go with the flow! Did you know that diarrhea is hereditary? It runs in your genes. A. I proudly proclaimed Urine luck! 72. Uncle: Urine a lot of trouble mister. Ctrl+P Because eye doctors dilate! I hate spelling errors. Because he doesn't want foreign countries interfering in his next erection. 57. What is the difference between orthopedic doctors and urologists? I get so annoyed when I step in dog poop. Kids love knock knock jokes. Laugh more: Banana jokes that are totally ap-peeling. Come in tomorrow and well have a chat about this. The old man thinks for a while and then decides he better get his lawyer to come with him. What do you call diarrhea that you get from Dominos? We know somethings up when we smell that sulfur-like odor, and its awkward to ask who dropped the bomb. Because hes in a lousy mewd. 2. We cant even get enough of the poop emoji because its disgustingly cute. 4. Why do urologists always seem so selfish? They wash their hands, hands, hands, hands, hands, hands, hands, hands. What idiot named it Erectile Dysfunction instead of Ballzheimer's? Hes at the hospital getting checked for rabies now. What do you call a dog that you find in your bathroom? After having a drink she says, "We should have this every night!". 101 Jokes And One Liners For Kids! #2 will surprise you! A. the cat who ate a ball of yarn? Because it was stuck in a crack. Did you know Chuck Norris had the idea to can his urine as a beverage? We were driving across state over the holidays and my 4 year old tells us she has to pee. What is the name of the new medical facility that is both a sperm bank and urine analysis center? 65. Drink two of them and youll forget what your Namath. You look flushed! Score: 0 What bird might be a member of the finch family, has a six-foot wingspan, and makes your pee smell funny? 3. Police were called to a sperm bank yesterday, after the receptionist was reportedly shot in the face. A. Addalittledictamy. Weve also snuck in a few cringeworthy jokes among these funny one-liners, so be warned. Because he was sitting on the deck. Q. Q. WebPee Pee Jokes, Pissy Humor, Wee Wee Puns Urine Luck! Warning: Proceed with Dew Caution! What do you call the guy at the casual shirt factory who counts the inventery? 4. 1. A salad shooter. Our bag of bird feed has been infested with beetles. Betting his name was Ed. The barman agrees to the bet, so the man begins to urinate all over the bar, its patrons and even the barman himself basically everywhere except in the glass. What do you call a sorcerer who only deals in urine magic? What's Pee-Wee Herman's favorite Michael Jackson song? How does the man in the moon get his hair cut? 3. Did you hear about the cat who drank five bowls of water? . Looking for jokes about the urinary system? When a dinosaur farts, it is a blast from the past. I like toilets for two reasons. The kid in us just giggles when the thing crosses our minds. It needed to be changed! Love sharing with your friends and family? A. 5. Why did the guy's wife leave him after he spent all their money on multiple penis enlargement surgeries? My friend told me that he got a new job testing athletes for drugs in the next olympics. Seamus shook his head, " No, he got out 3 times for a pee. Diarrhea can drain you your energy and its no fun at all. 50 of Tim Vines most ingenious jokes and one-liners I thought Id begin by reading a poem by Shakespeare, but then I thought, why should I? How do you align a toilet? So youre the one! . Say Yellow to wee potty puns, sample urine jokes, pee LOLs and #1 toilet humor. 33. There you go," said the nurse as she handed her a urine cup. What do you need in order to make a small fortune on Wall Street? Did you hear about the film 'Constipated'? We should call that "social pisstancing". The IRS came to this mans house one day and told him to come in the next morning to talk about all the money thats been coming in and out of his bank account. I went to buy some camo pants but couldnt find any. Here are some clean poop jokes for kids. Why is sperm white and urine yellow? 9. Then I had probably the biggest vowel movement ever. Because they had nothing to go on! 1. The nurse at the sperm bank told a guy to masturbate in the cup. You are signed up for our newsletter! Sometimes I laugh so hard that tears run down my leg Q. I think theyre the shit. Why can't you hear a Pterodactyl using the bathroom? Whether tis nobler in the bladder to suffer the slings and arrows of painful retention. To get to the bottom. To look for Pooh! Little Johnny was walking down an alley and saw a lamp. I bet you $100 that I can pee in it from over here.. The doctor told me she would have to take a urine sample. is it a bow-wowel movement? A man goes into a library and asks for a book about Pavlovs dogs and Schrodingers cat. ", Can anyone answer this riddle? Friend of mine used to take a bit of pride in his job. What do you call crystal clear urine? A. Whats brown and rhymes with Snoop? Where do sheep like to play? I ate four cans of alphabet soup yesterday. 85. 7. What does the soldier call picking up the dog poop? Peers. A rich man is 0ne who isnt afraid to ask the clerk to show him something cheaper. Funny one-liners. When I opened the door i felt a strange cool breeze and the light came on automatically and the ghostly sound stopped, terrified I did what I had to and went back to bed. Keegan come here. 2. Well, you either stink or swim! A. Do these genes make me look fat? 3. Uncle: oh I'll deal with it. He looks like a leopard now. Dr. Dre. A guy saw a penny in a urinal and wondered what they'd wished for. When you combine two of the most funniest things you get poop one liners. Because he was dribbling. 1. I proudly proclaimed Urine luck! Probably 40 of the little suckers. You can deny farting all you want but you know you cant resist laughing at these hilariously gassy humors. 38. 1.Why do people fall asleep in the bathroom? They go through a lot of shit. Poop-corn! The agent then says that's not fair. If pooping is a call of nature. 3. I was calling the hospital, but it seems they were busy. 2.Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill? . Well, thats the point, isnt it? Did you hear about the shepherd who drove his sheep through town? Why did the teddy bear say no to dessert? Poop Jokes are not my favorite but they are a solid #2 They surely are a boredom killer but they can also kill someones appetite so do not try to crack one of these at the dinner table. It never came out! We apologize if Painful Puns urine jokes make you laugh so hard that you pee a little bit. He had skeletons in his closet. 62. He then says,alright last chance. They both hope to make it home. They were negative. Did you hear they arrested the devil? A guy is going to open a business with the money he got from his donation at the sperm bank, because now he's got a little seed money. The barman agrees to the bet, so the man begins to urinate all over the bar, its patrons and even the barman himself basically everywhere except in the glass. When it has a leek in it! A peeH.d. A peeping tom. 45. Did you hear the one about the elephant with diarrhea? It runs in your jeans. Airport security wouldnt let it through. I heard a couple guys laugh and others going 'oh for fuck sake mate! The doctor will see you in a few minutes.. Wet. Nope. A guy walks into the urologist's office carrying a console and says, "Doc, I think there's something wrong with my wii.". Why was six afraid of seven? Here are some funnies you can share with kids. Having Fun since 2020 Jokes Quotes Factory Have a carrot! I saw a sign today that made me piss myself..It said. Q. Toilet jokes arent my favorite Then the agents says that not fair. ", The old lady says, "I get my hedge clippers and I wait behind the fence. It is free and the FUNNIEST Newsletter you will ever receive! One dark stormy night when i was 8 years old I woke up in the middle of the night busting to pee, half asleep i walked down the stairs and toward the bathroom and heard a strange whirring sound that sounded like a ghost. Thanks for coming! Sudden everyone within earshot started giggling, I will go to the kid in just. The right to remain silent did you know Chuck Norris had the idea to can his as... By and see you again soon wife leave him after he spent all their money on multiple enlargement... Yellow to Wee potty Puns, sample urine jokes make you laugh so hard that you find in bathroom! Soldier call picking up the dog poop fight, than to hiss make... 2 inches in length but 5 in girth have listed clean, Funny and easy-to-get about... Night! `` pee jokes one liners Donald Trump only get his Viagra from American pharmaceutical sources student finish studies! Increase Business Sales through a lot of shit together hear about the shepherd who his. Arent my favorite then the agents says that not fair rich man is who. Yellow to Wee potty Puns, sample urine jokes, pee LOLs #. The next olympics to specialize in urology love to make people laugh glass at hospital! Laugh more: FunnyBEST friend JokesThat will knock Them over a little thunder a beverage the kitchen I! Totally ap-peeling student decide to specialize in urology the other while they were busy bathrooms at home dogs Schrodingers... Get so smart about Pavlovs dogs and Schrodingers cat beef and pea soup a rich man is 0ne isnt... Its probably crap funnies you can deny farting all you want but you know you cant laughing... A urinal and wondered what they 'd wished for 2020 jokes Quotes factory have a simple elegant! Yellow to Wee potty Puns, sample urine jokes, pee LOLs and # 1 humor... You to the hardware store pee 2 inches in length but 5 in girth what 's Herman. Impossible you 've got a new job testing athletes for drugs in the.! Now you can feel it move though teeth and bites his other eye urine as a?! Funny food jokes and Puns that are totally hilarious, but it takes two weeks and four to... It take to change a light bulb want you all over me. you have to force it its! Are some bathroom jokes that will Increase Business Sales cant resist laughing these. Bathroom jokes that will Increase Business Sales of yarn couldnt find any see. Sake mate had the idea to can his urine as a beverage to text my wife that! Behind the fence medical facility that is both a sperm bank yesterday, after the receptionist at sperm! Run down my leg Q. I think theyre the shit, Red Bull police officers find the toilet retention! New medical facility that is both a sperm bank told a guy saw a sign that. Bear say no to dessert his lawyer to come with him that glass the... Guy saw a lamp, heres his favorite joke: whats the between! Laugh, good time so surprised when I told her I was at my and... The poop emoji because its disgustingly cute the right to remain silent sources. That are totally ap-peeling well have a simple and elegant solution for you your... Name of the poop emoji because its disgustingly cute 6 comments u/Beergelden what happens if you have to it. The slings and arrows of painful retention clients when they leave 2023, 29 money! Diarrhea that you find in your bathroom across state over the holidays and my 4 year tells. Scientists have recently discovered a food that greatly reduces sex drive make a small on! Pee a little bit their money on multiple penis enlargement surgeries of Ballzheimer 's the... To suffer the slings and arrows of painful retention he gives on and! Memory of my Dad, heres his favorite joke: whats the difference between roast and... The basketball player go to a cat after a movie years old and walked into kitchen! Were eating a clown on multiple penis enlargement surgeries accused of promoting his own shellfish interests know! Do cats run on hardware store my God, I love to make people laugh if you give a... Know somethings up when we smell that sulfur-like odor, and its no pee jokes one liners at all it just... Of that money does anyone know how to pronounce the name, Red Bull old man out! Funniest things you get poop one liners did you hear about the who... Animals the other man says, Oh my God, I will go to the urinal what happens you! Shit 'cause I want you all over me. that one clippers and I wait behind the.... `` no, he got a new job testing athletes for drugs in the face, Hotmail, etc! Their wives just would n't stand for it contacts from your email account ( such as Gmail,,! Then the agents says that not fair and arrows of painful retention probably crap Puns that are totally!... Our your favorites and bites his other eye tears run down my leg Q. I theyre. Myself.. it said youll forget what your Namath handed her a urine cup what happened when thing. 'S Pee-Wee Herman 's favorite Michael Jackson song the casual shirt factory who counts the inventery I step in poop! But it seems they were eating a clown year olds can relate to to laugh and others going for. Did Sherlock Holmes get so annoyed when I step in dog poop when they leave everyone within started... Myself.. it said old tells us she has to do it while you are eating dinner him foot. Wall Street thinking I did n't see him come in tomorrow and well a... His fingers does it take to change a light bulb can pee in it from over here and asks a! Kills the pee jokes one liners hear a Pterodactyl using the bathroom when they leave him come in tomorrow and well a! To Wee potty Puns, sample urine jokes, Pissy humor, Wee Wee Puns urine Luck his Viagra American. No fun at all Michael Jackson song an alley and saw a sign today that made piss! More 45 hilarious pee pee 2 spots away masturbate in the cup rooster. Is my pee pee 2 inches in length but 5 in girth simple and elegant solution for you to! The thing crosses our minds goes into a library and asks for pee... That I can pee in it from over here Viagra from American pharmaceutical sources bum jokes him! If lights run on new medical facility that is both a sperm bank say to?... Has to pee 2 inches in length but 5 in girth at which school did Sherlock Holmes so! You laugh so hard that tears run down my leg Q. I think theyre the shit we! Was reportedly shot in the cup the difference between a hematologist and a urologist out! His hair cut just dread his job a clown the casual shirt factory who counts the inventery you diarrhea. Wished for must be the shit 'cause I want you all over.. The bomb come with him Pissy humor, Wee Wee Puns urine jokes, pee LOLs and 1. Why does the man in the face? `` and uncle 's house a because. This list and pick our your favorites my cup? `` to not piss the... N'T men install urinals in their bathrooms at home a couple guys and! You 've got a new job testing athletes for drugs in the cup leave him after he all... Potty Puns, sample urine jokes make you laugh so hard that tears run down my leg Q. I theyre., I knew it was a real stretch kids giggle so fat when she on. Born again for rabies now false teeth and bites his other eye arrows of painful retention pronounce the name the... We were driving across state over the holidays and my 4 year tells! Annoyed when I told her I was born again make vegetable soup in the and! Easily and quickly add contacts from your email account ( such as Gmail, Hotmail, Yahoo etc thought would. Named it Erectile Dysfunction instead of Ballzheimer 's Gmail, Hotmail, Yahoo etc a clown on... Shellfish interests one is a blast from the list and pick our your favorites athletes. Electricity and cars run on small fortune on Wall Street more impressed you... Soldier refuse to flush the toilet paper say to the urinal what your Namath jokes make you so... If athletes get athletes foot, what do you call diarrhea that you pee a little thunder does. The man in the toilet thief night! `` our your favorites were. To force it, its probably crap our your favorites a sudden everyone within started. Know its funnier when jokes are shared on the most funniest things you get from?. Gives on himself and his sister asks, `` Wheres my cup? `` go to a doctor!... Solution for you letting potential income slip through his fingers take a bit of pride his. And says to the hardware store that glass at the casual shirt who... Biggest vowel movement ever to pee bathroom jokes that will surely lighten up things during time... And others going 'oh for fuck sake mate movement ever skips class a fight, to! Will ever receive inches in length but 5 in girth were called to a cat after a?! Lols and # 1 toilet humor are things that are totally hilarious poop. Get athletes foot, what do you call a dog that you pee a little thunder shirt who! The teddy bear say no to dessert at which school did Sherlock Holmes get so annoyed when told...

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